Christmas is in 8 days. All of the “12 Days of Christmas” lists started 4 days ago. We’ve purposely waited a few days to give you the “12 Days of Christmas You DON’T Want To See Under Your Tree”.
#12 The worst ugly Christmas sweater from eBay you can possibly imagine.
Especially if it came with a Jack Black impersonator.
#11 Gym membership from husband.
#10 Justin Bieber mechandise.
Unless your name happens to be Annie Cushing.
#9 Sex For Dummies book from wife.
New and updated 3rd Edition, because getting the first 2 wasn’t enough in previous years.
#8 Gift card to AA from Santa with a 6-pack of non-alcoholic beer.
#7 Court ordered Subpoena with 5 days to reply.
Especially if your lawyer is in the Bahamas until after New Years.
#5 A recluse spider in your stocking.
Very common in areas around Tulsa, OK. Maybe coal isn’t such a bad option!
#4 Unused tickets to the Neverland Ranch.
Includes shiny right-handed glove and “live” meet and greet with its original owner.
#3 An all expense paid tour of one of BP’s oil rigs.
They’ll even let you play with the fire hose.
#2 An imitation iPad that runs Windows 7.
#1 An ant farm.
I mean, come on! How enraged would you be if you actually got an ant farm!? Unless your name is Thomas Ballantyne, then it might look good next to your scorpion aquarium.
Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Bulwark Exterminating. Your Loco Pest Control – Tulsa, OK.
December 17, 2010 - 10:30 PM